for chinese new year they get all these famous actors and comedians together and they do a lil show and one of the comedians was like “i was in a hotel in america once and there was a mouse in my room so i called reception except i forgot the english word for mouse so instead i said ‘you know tom and jerry? jerry is here’
jerry is here
i want someone who will sit on a rooftop with me at 3 am and shave their head while i shave my head and then hotglue the hair to the roof so the roof will have hair
I was studying in my room, turned around to grab something and saw this.
So, basically, this is not my cat.
But she’s all like chillin’ in my bed like she pays rent or smth.
How the fuck did she even got into the freaking house.
i’m an upset, self-conscious loser and i want attention but i also want to be left alone i don’t know what i want and i’m sad and scared of my future and i just want to be taken care of
i read “lobster”.
why the hell do babies cry after they shit themselves like u got urself into this mess buddy dont make it everyone else’s problem. like have some fuckin responsibility for once